Lister

By Anja Bencke
Translated by Tim Lawson

Usually, when you visit a camp on the Roskilde Festivals camping area, you will meet with a happy greeting and a cold can of beer.

But in Camp Ussel on camping grid L45, the welcome greeting was ”look out, you’re standing with your hair in the shit.”

The Festival’s most filthy camp
There’s toiletpaper with shit on it on the pavillion poles, trash and cigarette ends in layers on the floor, and a cooking pot full of a stew consisting of beer, peaches, pepsi, nutella, icecream, cigarette ends and hair. Even by festival standards it can’t get filthier.

Camp Ussel’s residents declare with pride that they still have not seen a camp that is filthier than theirs, which, by the way, was reported as being even filthier last year.   

”We get pissed off if anyone attempts to prevent us being filthy by cleaning up after us” says Sidsel from the camp.  

Excluded
The eleven girls and boys created Camp Ussel a couple of years ago because they were excluded from their old camp.

”The others in the camp threw cigarette ends at us and called us filthy” Aske says, grinning. 

Since then, Camp Ussel have taken further steps to find aspects that fit in with their camp theme. This year the residents are competing  for ”filthy points”, which they can qualify for if they, for example, brush their teeth in Fernet Branca, complete a ”disgusting” fuck, throw up on themselves or even eat cornflakes with vodka.

Apart from these lovely activities the united camp are now practising on how many persons can be fitted into a locked festival toilet, and for how long.  

Piss and aloe vera
If you live anywhere near Camp Ussel, then it is probably a good idea to tread carefully in your dealings with the residents. They are proud of their filthiness, and will not tolerate other festival goers refusing to talk to them.

The ”Uslings”  could, perhaps, decide to take revenge by pissing on empty camping chairs late at night, which actually happened to one of the camps that turned their entrance away from the trash and smell. “But the day after we had a bad conscience so we ran over and spread aloe vera on the chairs,” says Emma from the camp.

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